Sunny mornings make me think about tanning.
Tanning makes me think about bikinis.
Bikinis make me think about rock-hard abs.
Where do you go to tone abs? The gym.
When I awoke this morning, the sun shone brightly through those bothersome gaps where my window shade doesn’t quite meet my window frame. So, I quickly washed my face, threw my hair into a pony, ate a banana, drank my espresso like it was an actual shot, and headed to the gym.
At 8:12 I swiped in and checked the class scheduled for 8:30. The schedule read: “On the Ball – This class incorporates traditional body sculpting exercises using the stability ball. You will burn, sculpt muscles and get a great comprehensive workout! (All levels)”
It sounded perfect. It always amazes me how upbeat class descriptions at a gym are. They skillfully mention the burn of fat, not the burn you feel after reps on reps on reps of exercises… that “great comprehensive workout” is great till you feel like roadkill and notice the class is only halfway through.
I will admit though, theres nothing like that feeling of fatigue the next morning that makes you remember that you did something the day before. No words are as inspiring as that pain you feel when you take the first step out of bed, having temporarily forgotten the great workout you had yesterday, or at some point in earlier in the week.
With words in the class description that optimistically indicated I would feel that great feeling after a good workout, I decided to take the class.
Okay. To be fair, what really made me take the class were my memories of exercise balls from when I was younger. My mom never purchased an exercise ball for her home use, because she always made time to start her day at the gym. My friends’ moms however did own exercise balls. Kids that were allowed to play with the ball were privileged: playdates were always at the house of the kid with the exercise ball. I mean, what’s more fun than rolling around on/with the ball, seeing who can stand longest on the ball, sitting crosslegged on it… etc, etc.
This class On the Ball wasn’t as much of a ball (excuse the pun, it was just too tempting) as those playdates were: I definitely got a comprehensive workout– one that fatigued me enough to make me too lazy to get up off my lawn chair from tanning. The thought of walking back inside to shower was less appealing than the escape from the 94 degree heat that going into the cool A/C posed.